Since 1990, we’ve had a severe recession in California; I called it the California Depression. Now that those bad times seem to be ending, I hope several other plagues afflicting the people will also disappear.

The most severe plague has been the ill will each tribe has for all others. While this illness has sapped its victims for millennia, it has reached epidemic proportions in the recent history of America. This illness manifests itself as regional, racial, religious and other social hatreds, but is often disguised by clever words and feverish arguments. I wish to offer the following poultice, which may not cure the disease, but should alleviate symptoms:

1. Humans now living were born of a human female about 9 months after having sexual intercourse with a human male;

 

2. Humans are one species, since acts of sexual intercourse between males and females of any human race or ethnic background routinely produce offspring, and the offspring of one group are not statistically different in any important way from the offspring of any other group;

 

3. Humans routinely grow after being born, and, after reaching sexual maturity, they engage in sexual activity which predictably results in the birth of more humans;

 

4. Humans routinely live longer than required for reproduction, but thereafter endure the decline called "middle age", during which they "educate" their offspring by denouncing the sins of youth;

 

5. Humans always die of disease, old age or other cause, and are sometimes remembered for their activities (regardless what others think of them);

 

6. Humans often eat, drink and sleep in between sex and death.

Now, even if I’ve rubbed salt in your wounds, you must also learn this catechism:

1. My god is the only true god; the other guy believes pigs have feet

 

2. My thoughts are the only true thoughts; the other guy just repeats things

 

3. My deeds are the only good works; the other guy does whatever

Finally, to make everything work, you must solve this riddle:

        ?. Why do people treat me like that other guy?

Last update: 11/02/2007

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