Saturnalia

 

 

Slaves and serfs need this moment of freedom far more than masters, so the extent of the debauchery measures the oppression of everyday life. During Saturnalia, everything was turned upside down for 2 weeks. Slaves were free to command masters (up to a point), people drank and screwed freely, brawled, and in general had one hell of a time. Then, there was the 50 week hangover.

Things are not so different today. There is, for instance, the "office party" which gives everyone an opportunity to make sexual advances on those usually unwilling to receive them, under cover of drunkenness. Most years, there are unusually large numbers of reports of drunken brawls and drunk driving, fights over store merchandise, depression, and other disorders during the holiday season. Studies have shown that people are actually meaner to each other at this time of year than at other times. Some think the depression and bad behavior are a result of sun-deprivation which occurs during the Northern hemisphere winter. (Maybe that is why so many people traveling south at this time find relief in their vacations.)

Corporations long ago took over the holiday season. They make a lot of money selling shlock. The idea is to get people "locked in." You send Aunt Nellie a Christmas card. She feels guilty because she forget who the hell you were, runs out and buys a somewhat more expensive card to send to you. Next year, you cannot be outdone, so you will have to send Nellie an even more extravagant something-or-other. Then, there's fear of who Aunt Nellie knows, so you better send everyone that higher grade offering. What's a few bucks more once a year on cards? You're locked in.

The same strategy works on gifts. They start out little and work their way up. Have you seen the many, many ads for gift cars this year? You cannot give your girlfriend a lousy KIA, you piker: it's got to be a LEXUS. If you have a mistress, you are in big trouble if it is anything less than a high-end MERCEDES (and a BMW for the fast action sidekick). Think about it: some old crummy $1,000 ($5,000?) diamond doesn't make it anymore. Now it's a $50,000 car.

Once you fall into the game, there's no end to it. There's always more and better. Jeez, you only got me a 6-pack of diet Brewglop? What kind of woman are you? (Better start checking out divorce lawyers, and figuring how to limit your losses.) The list grows longer ...

Speaking of no end, did you know that January is a good month - one of the best - to buy real estate? People don't like to move in mid-winter, so it's hard to sell a house. But, there's the seller's end, too; they're selling because they have to, not because they want to. Lots of "divorce houses" come onto the market in January, after one or the other spouse has stayed on through Christmas "for the benefit of the children." Then, there's the foreclosures after the Big Spree crumbles the House of Cards. You can buy yourself a big present after Christmas, in case you're into real estate. The RE agents will love you more, and give you a break, too, because this is starvation month for them. (Of course, they also have a huge credit card bill to pay because of their largesse a few weeks before.)

Yes, you do not even have to be a Scrooge to benefit from the holiday season. All you have to do is encourage everyone else to spend themselves into poverty. It's not too late to check out that house you always wanted ....